videos of the week

if you want to know the best blogs, we will give the best on the web 

http://dailydelights.sheknows.com/articles/823865/top-10-humor-blogs-of-the-week

MY FAVORITE JOKE

A VERY CRAZY PARTY

WORST TATTOOS

http://failblog.cheezburger.com/ugliesttattoos

MUSIC JOKES

A violist was in the back seat of a small town's orchestra. One day he found a genie and was granted three wishes, the first wish was that he wanted to be 5 times better then he already was. By the next practice he was principal of the violists. After some time, he wanted to become even better. He went to the geinie and asked to be 10 times better once more. The next day he became the principal violist of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. After months he still wanted to become a musician. He asked the genie once more but to be 15 times better. The next day at practice he was back in his small town's orchestra but in the very back of the second violin section. 

Catajokes

WhAt iT mEaNs "HuMoR"?

"Humor" is the Latin word that we find the etymological origin of the word in question. A term that can be translated as liquid or moisture,  it comes from another Greek word that in ancient Greece it  considered that the body of man was formed by four humors or fluids ( blood, yellow bile , black bile and water ) which related to the four elements of nature (air , fire, earth and water).This relationship was established alluding that when someone was in a good mood meant that he or She  was in a perfect state of health.Humor is defined as the type of expression or posture that exalts the funny side or when you can say when you can laugh of different situations. The concept , according to its theoretical definition,it  refers to the liveliness, lively spirit , enthusiasm and genius.For example : "Humor helps us to make more bearable the most difficult moments of life ", " With a little humor, everything is easier ."

IF YOU WANT TO BE FUNNIEST OF THE CLASS,YOU MUST KNOW THESE 10 TYPES OF HUMOR

http://www.match.com/magazine/article/12400/the-10-different-types-of-humor/ 

OUR GOVERMENT

"They will be our future leaders .. LoL

My vote is for the best"

Abiding President

One evening Alvaro Uribe is strolling a couple of blocks from the White House and he passes a hooker standing on the corner. The hooker asks him " Wanna party ? " and Alvaro responds " How much ? " The hooker replies " 100 dollars " and Alvaro answers " I'll give you 10 dollars " --Insulted the hooker storms off. 

The following evening Alvaro and Lina Moreno de Uribe take a stroll a few blocks further away from the  House and as they approach a corner,.. the same hooker spots Uribe from across the street and calls out to him " SEE WHAT YOU GET FOR 10 DOLLARS !!!! "

A world of cats quite comfortable

*What is the difference between a cat and a dog, Dogs think: Humans are benevolent, they feed me, and take care of me, so they must be Gods; cats instead think: HUmans are benevolent, they feed me, and take care of me, so I must be God.*

HOT JOKES

ABOUT  A COUPLE

A couple had been married for 45 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says,"Just think,Fifty-fouryears ago we were sitting here at this breakfast tabletogether.""I know," Charles said. "We were probably sitting here naked as ajaybird fifty years ago.""Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some oldtimes."Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table."Youknow, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are ashot for you today as they were fifty years ago.
replied Gramps.
"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

"I wouldn't be surprised,"

A ACURIOUS EMPLOYEE

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of

years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had aterrible compulsion. He had an urge tostick his penis into the pickleslicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk aboutit, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome thecompulsion on his own.One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wifecould see at once that something was seriously wrong."What's wrong, Bill?"she asked."Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put mypenis into the pickle slicker?" 'Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed."Yes, I did." he replied."My God, Bill, what happened?""I got fired.""No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?""Oh...she got fired too."

YOU TELL US SOMETING ABOUT FRUIT ....... XD

  Eyes Cold Lemonade 

Q. Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?A. It said concentrate.

OUR FRUIT JOKES

These three men went out on this fishing trip, but as they we sailing along in their little boat, a storm picked up and swept them onto a rather small island. 

Now the men weren't scared at first, but when they saw these cannibals chasing after them, they began to run for their lives. The cannibals were much faster than they were, and so they captured the three men, and brought them to their King. 

The King said, "I want each of you to pick 10 fruits. Each man must collect a different fruit as to that of the other two. Once you have done this, return to me, and I will tell you what to do." 

So the men, fearing their lives, run out and began to search madly for any fruit. The first man returns after a while with 10 apples. The King grinned wickedly and said, "Now you must take those 10 apples and shove them up your *ss without making any facial expression. If you fail to do so, I will kill you!" 

The poor man gets up to number 8 and then screams, as the pain was so intense. The King killed him right then and there, and returned to see the second man coming back with 10 strawberries. The second man got his instructions, too, and was up to the 10th strawberry, when all of a sudden, for no apparent reason, he begins laughing hysterically. So the King killed him, too, just as he did with the first man. 

Now the first man and the second man meet up in Heaven, and the first man asks the second man, "Why did you laugh? You were on your last strawberry, and you could have gotten away!" 

The second man said with a little smile, "Yeah, I know, but I couldn't resist laughing when I saw the third man coming back with pineapples!"

SICK JOKES

A consulting psychologist

Camilo: Doctor, every night I have the same dream: I push a door which has a written word above the door.
Push, push and push, but I never get it open.
- And what's written on the door?.
- "Spin".

a cruel emergency

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. 

The doctor says: "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life." 

Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?" 

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead." 

SOMETHING ABOUT POETRY

TOP #5 

A day of bitter coffee

“I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.” 

“I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, ‘Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.’ He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.’” 

“If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?”

A sweet joke

“Why can’t we have racism that’s ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, ‘Those Chinese people, they can fly! You know about the Puerto Ricans... they’re made of candy!’”

Do you want it scented?

“A man walks into a chemist’s and says, ‘Can I have a bar of soap, please?’ The chemist says, ‘Do you want it scented?’ And the man says, ‘No, I’ll take it with me now.’

A female perspective

“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.” 

“What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll wind up naked.” 

“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’” 

“Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.” 

“According to most studies, people’s No.1 fear is public speaking. No.2 is death. Death is No.2. Does that sound right? This means, to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” 

“Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.” 

“Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.” 

“The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman’s point of view that men are all the same, so we might as well dress them that way. That’s why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women, because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over and she marries the next guy.” 

“I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can’t smell it, can’t eat it, can’t taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, ‘Well, here it is. You can’t have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.’” 

“Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.”

Difference between Jews and Gentiles

“I was just offered a job in Palestine. They offered me half a million dollars plus funeral expenses.” 

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life... unless I buy something.” 

“It is easy to tell the difference between Jews and Gentiles. After the show, all the Gentiles are saying, ‘Have a drink. Want a drink? Let’s have a drink!’ While all the Jews are saying, ‘Have you eaten yet? Want a piece of cake? Let’s have some cake

MEMES JOKES

once upon a time in a bath......

true love:

Now we know what they feel vampires

my bad luck :(:

A bad joke:

Someday ... someday .... someday?

Someone brings order to the situation